A special education administrator died
and went to heaven to see about getting in. St. Peter said,
"Well, your mom and dad are here saying you should qualify,
but I don't know. You see, we have to conduct our own
evaluations. It will take 6 - 9 months, or maybe two years.
We'll let you know. Would you sign this consent for
evaluation right here, please." So the man took a seat on a
cloud and waited none too patiently.
A year later, St. Peter comes back to the
man and says, "Sorry, but that Consent form wasn't the right
one. Would you sign here please." A year later, the man is
called in for a conference to talk about the evaluation. A
psychologist angel said, "Well, we noticed that you were
extremely impatient while waiting, drummed your fingers a
lot, seemed not to pay much attention to instructions, and
you let us have you sign the wrong form at the get-go. We
suspect you probably have attention deficit disorder. We
don't do behavior modification here, but we do have a
detention room where our offenders do time before being sent
to Hell if they can't figure "it" out. We noticed you had
trouble learning how to sit on our clouds, so we suspect you
probably need some physical and occupational therapy. You've
been rude and deceitful with parents of children with
disabilities on earth, but with extensive counseling, you
can probably overcome that. You've been playing crony games
with public funding and key positions, and with personality
readjustment therapy, you can probably overcome that. You'll
have to work hard, try harder than you've ever tried before.
If you can make sufficient adjustments with our
accommodations, you might be awarded a diploma entitling you
to entry into heaven. It could take as long as 12 years, but
we are optimistic."
The personality readjustment angel worked diligently with
the man and began to see progress. Still, when the man was
frustrated, he acted out and was not exactly
heavenly-appropriate in some of his antics and verbal
expressions. The personality readjustment angel said to his
parents, "I'm sorry, but if he doesn't make more progress
soon, he won't make it. "
"He needs more counseling, some training sessions, perhaps
some role-playing, social skills training," his parents
"Sorry," the angel said. "There are far
too many other angel candidates and I'm overbooked as it
The angel gave no clues as to what procedures heaven might
have for increasing the administrator's personality
readjustment services, and the parents were sure that since
this was heaven, they would have been told everything they
needed to know and all necessary help would be given. So
they rested on faith.
St. Peter assigned the administrator a physical therapist
who worked with the man to teach him to sit properly on
clouds and a flight instruction angel to teach him how to
fly. The administrator got the hang of sitting on clouds
pretty well, but he had a ton of trouble learning to fly.
"Look," he kept protesting, "This flying bit isn't easy.
I've got to learn to trust not having ground beneath my
feet. I've got to keep looking at the horizon instead of
furniture around me. I've got to keep from banging into
other angels. My flight instruction angel only shows up 80%
of the time. I need more help."
"Sorry," St. Peter said. "You're not trying. If you speak up
in your own behalf, you're showing a basic lack of faith and
trust, and it has tinges of disrespect for our authority. We
can't have that around here. We'll have to give you
detention you if you keep complaining."
The administrator shut up. But the next day, he took off
from his cloud with his flight instruction angel's full
approval and promptly plunged toward Hell at full speed,
flapping all the way.
"I have to say something," he screamed. "I told you I needed
more help, and it would help if I had both wings!"
"Sorry," his flight instruction angel
shouted downward. "We don't have the funding for that."